As a parent, you know how quickly summer comes, and how quickly it ends. In those precious three months, the stress of keeping kids engaged, busy and properly cared for is hard enough for two parents. For those considering or in the midst of divorce or separation, the stress of summer vacation only intensifies.
Now is the time to start discussing your proposed parenting plans, before summer arrives. Wait too long and you could end up with a summer that is anything but “fun in the sun.”
Divorcing spouses aren't always looking for a fight and dramatic courtroom resolutions. In fact, many people would prefer to make a divorce as quick and painless as possible so that they can focus on the future.
In these situations, mediation and collaboration will be tools that allow two people to end their marriage and settle divorce-related matters more peacefully. However, the efficacy of these processes can be compromised when one or both parties make one of the following critical mistakes.
When you cannot negotiate, when you cannot talk, when you cannot reach agreements, then you have war. When it comes to your children, you don’t want to drag them into a war. You’ll want to negotiate.
“The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War
If you follow Pennsylvania politics at all, you’ve likely heard much about local redistricting fights and other contentious issues. What you may not have heard about is a new bill introduced by Representative Kate Klunk last summer to formalize the collaborative law process in Pennsylvania. The bill is currently under discussion within the state’s Senate Judiciary Committee and will hopefully move forward this legislative year.
While many family law firms have been using collaborative law methods for years (including our own), this new bill seeks to formally encode the practice within Pennsylvania. Moreover, it recognizes the valuable contribution this less antagonistic approach to resolving disputes makes within our society.
When you and your spouse first met and fell in love, you probably spent as much time together as possible—getting to know one another, being affectionate and doing activities you both enjoyed. However, after 5, 10 or 20 years of marriage, many couples come to the realization that they not only don’t spend much time with their spouse, but they also may not really want to.
Like any close relationship, maintaining a marriage is hard work and often things like raising children, work and technology consume spouses’ time and zap their energy. While plenty of spouses who go through relationship slumps are able to eventually find their way back to each other and make a marriage work, a significant percentage don’t and decide to go their separate ways.
Divorce triggers many changes that can be difficult on the whole family, and especially on children. However, transitions to new living arrangements and schedules can be made easier when parents make communication a top priority. Here are some tips for parents on ways to keep the lines of communication open during this, and any, time of great transition.
Observe
Divorce is traditionally viewed as being a contentious process. Spouses are programmed to view each another as the enemy and to be guarded and wary when forced to interact with one another. In reality, there are plenty of couples who still like and respect their ex, but simply no longer want to be married and view divorce as a mutually-beneficial solution. If this latter description applies to your situation, you may want to consider divorce mediation.
Divorce mediation is a popular form of alternative dispute resolution in which a trained mediator guides a couple through the divorce process and all related decisions and procedures. While you can choose to also hire a divorce attorney, you are not required to do so as long as the mediation process is productive in helping you and your ex work towards successfully resolving divorce-related matters.
Articles and literature on co-parenting almost always reference the importance of communication and compromise. To successfully co-parent, it is essential that parents are able to discuss and come to an agreement about a range of issues related to their child and that dialog is ongoing. While the majority of co-parents do their best to navigate the rocky and unpredictable road that is co-parenting, the relationship between some parents is simply too hostile and volatile.
What happens when your ex doesn’t want to co-parent and intentionally tries to make your job as a parent harder? Unfortunately, as frustrating as an ex’s attitude and actions may be, giving up is not an option. Every child deserves to have and benefit from the love, support and guidance of both parents. There are times, however, when it may be necessary to disengage from an ex and explore other co-parenting options.
Children are often unwitting bystanders to their parents’ personal and relationship challenges and, in cases where a child’s parents split without ever marrying or decide to divorce, it’s imperative that a child’s needs continue to be met.
Your child deserves to have the financial support of both parents and, to help ensure that this happens, parents are encouraged to take legal action and petition for child support.
Whether you have been married for 3 or 30 years, at some point or another, many married couples experience problems. From financial issues and infidelity to a serious illness or issues with addiction --individuals who experience these and other difficulties in their marriage may eventually come to the decision that a marriage cannot be saved.
If you are planning to file for divorce, it's important to prepare. While many aspects of a divorce won't be in your control, taking the time to think about your goals with regard to child custody, asset and debt division and what to do with a shared home can provide you a major advantage over a soon-to-be ex-spouse who may or may not know about your plans.
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