Navigating co-parenting can feel daunting when conflicts between parents run high. After all, those high emotions may have been the original reason why the marriage did not work out in the first place. Fortunately, Pennsylvania law supports creative and effective strategies aimed at reducing tension and prioritizing your children’s well-being.
Parallel parenting
The first approach centers on reducing direct contact between the co-parents to, hopefully, reduce the instances of conflict. For parents who have difficulty communicating without conflict, parallel parenting provides a clearly defined framework that minimizes interaction. Parallel parenting takes a different path than standard co-parenting by sharply reducing direct contact to help avoid arguments. Each parent independently manages their time and decisions based on an agreed-upon court-approved plan.
Important features of parallel parenting include limited interaction. Parents communicate only as needed, typically via email or specialized co-parenting applications.
It also utilizes neutral exchanges. Custody exchanges often occur at neutral locations, like police stations, which prevent confrontational scenarios.
Finally, parallel parenting features distinct household rules. In this arrangement, both parents follow their own household routines and make decisions separately. This method allows children to maintain strong bonds with both parents while staying shielded from ongoing tension between the adults.
Structured communication through technology
Another way to reduce conflict is to limit communications to technological means. Direct conversations can quickly escalate in high-conflict scenarios. Structured communication strategies keep interactions child-focused and reduce misunderstandings.
Effective structured communication methods include co-parenting applications. Platforms, such as OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents, offer secure messaging and calendar-sharing to streamline communication.
The BIFF Method from the High Conflict Institute offers another option as well. Communications should remain brief, informative, friendly and firm to defuse emotional tension.
Finally, mediation may be needed where breakdowns occur. Engaging a neutral third-party mediator can help manage discussions constructively. Using organized methods of communication helps co-parents stay respectful and clear, which in turn, supports the well-being of their children.
Comprehensive custody orders to definitively define enforceable boundaries
In Pennsylvania, a clearly defined custody order is crucial for managing high-conflict co-parenting situations. Detailed orders help set clear expectations that minimize misunderstandings.
Clear custody arrangements typically specify when and where exchanges will happen and define each parent’s scheduled time with the child to avoid misunderstandings. Clearly specified times and exchange locations to prevent ambiguity. They have defined responsibilities regarding medical, educational and extracurricular activities. And, they contain conflict resolution strategies, a documented process outlining steps to resolve disagreements without escalation. Strict adherence to these custody orders promotes stability and consistency for children, reducing parental conflict.
