Even when a divorce is amicable, it can still be a challenging experience for children because it tends to upend their “everyday.” Most children grapple with confusion, fear and sadness as their sense of family stability shifts.
Thankfully, as a parent, there are steps you can take to minimize the emotional impact of divorce on your children.
Communicate openly and honestly
Naturally, when you’re divorcing, you instinctively want to protect your children from experiencing the pain of your separation. It can be tempting to hide the truth from the kids and to communicate vaguely so they don’t know what’s really happening. However, you’re better off providing clear, age-appropriate information about the divorce.
You can keep the kids in the loop while still protecting them by avoiding unnecessary details about conflicts. Your kids will have an easier time dealing with the divorce when you let them know what changes to expect. Explain that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents will continue to love them. Being honest helps build trust and reduces confusion about the situation.
Maintain routine and stability
Since there will be quite a bit of change as the divorce progresses, it can help the kids to have a routine they can follow during this transition. Sticking to a routine can give your kids a sense of security at a time when it might feel like the ground underneath them is shifting. You might want to consider:
- Coordinating schedules with your co-parent to help ensure routines remain consistent
- Keeping familiar family traditions, such as weekend outings or holiday rituals
- Creating a visual calendar to help younger children know what to expect
Even when the kids are transitioning between two households, they can maintain a level head if the routines are consistent and respected.
Encourage a healthy co-parenting relationship
A positive co-parenting relationship can significantly reduce stress for children. Setting aside personal differences with your ex-partner and working together to meet your child’s needs is important. Avoid arguing in front of the children or speaking negatively about the other parent.
Remember, how you manage your divorce today can shape your children’s resilience and emotional health for years to come. By enlisting hands-on legal support, you can work to achieve an amicable divorce that prioritizes your kids’ best interests.