How do I prepare to talk to my spouse about divorce?

It is never easy to break up with someone you promised to love, especially if you legally vowed to love and cherish them forever. When you finally decide to bring up divorce, you should do so in a way that will increase the chances for collaboration.

Litigation can be costly and time-consuming. It involves appearing in court and battling out the conditions and terms of your divorce. In a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse can openly discuss a mutually beneficial settlement agreement outside the courtroom. How you initiate the divorce conversation is so vital because it influences the rest of the proceedings. It is fundamental to achieving a collaborative divorce where neither spouse is angry and vengeful.

Below are factors you should consider before talking to your spouse about divorce.

You should understand your decision and be certain

Divorce is not something you should base solely on emotions. It is a legal decision and the end of your marriage. You should understand what divorce really is prior to bringing it up to your spouse. Your decision may seem like the only conclusion to repetitive arguments and unresolved issues, but a divorce can give rise to more disputes. You and your spouse must settle disagreements on child custody, child support, property distribution and alimony, among other conditions.

If you want the settlement process to be as easy and peaceful as possible, you must accept that you will forfeit matters in your marriage that are important to you. Be sure about your decision. Be ready to justify your decision to your spouse and family.

You should be ready to explain why you want a divorce

Because Pennsylvania is a no-fault divorce state, you do not need a legal reason to file for a divorce. It is enough to establish the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. However, if your spouse asks you why you want a divorce, you may want to be more sympathetic. Choose your words carefully. Do not blame them. Instead, speak with understanding and focus on helping your spouse comprehend your decision. Remember that if you can find common ground this early, you will be able to work together to resolve disputes without court intervention.