How to approach telling your kids about your divorce

Children who have grown up with both parents living in the same home often feel a major sense of security. That security is going to be shaken if their parents decide to divorce. Because this is an emotional subject for many children, you must ensure that you’re prepared to tell them about the divorce.

Typically, it’s best if both parents can be there to talk to the children. This helps the kids to see that their parents are still willing to get along to parent as a team. It also ensures that both parents know what the child is being told. Before you sit down with the kids to talk to them, think about some of the points you need to cover.

It’s not the child’s fault

Children will sometimes blame themselves for the split. While you don’t have to give them all the details about why you’re ending the marriage, you should let them know that they aren’t the cause. In some cases, stating that it was a decision between the adults might be all that’s necessary.

Emotions are expected

Children may feel as though they have to bottle up their feelings about the divorce. It’s important that they understand they can talk to either parent at any time about how they’re feeling. Talking about how you feel in an age-appropriate manner might help the children to recognize and normalize their own emotions.

Try to get the parenting plan established as quickly as you can after the split. This enables the children to adjust to the new way of life faster. The parenting plan should be based on what’s best for the children. You and your ex must work together to come up with these terms. Ensure everything that’s agreed upon is accurately represented in the paperwork so you can refer to it later as needed.