The anger came to a boiling point when served with divorce papers. You knew your marriage was on a precipice but did not expect your spouse to pursue the dissolution of it. You want revenge, but that is not a good idea.
Instead, take three deep breaths and continue to do so anytime divorce-related anger and frustration surface. You must accept what is going to happen. At the same time, you must avoid making costly mistakes that will haunt you and others – namely your children — for a long, long time.
Revenge on spouse, manipulating children
Many emotions, feelings and ideas may run through anyone’s mind when divorce emerges. The hurt and anger are understandable. However, here are some actions that will prove costly for you while going through divorce:
- Seeking revenge against your spouse. Your anger is understandable. However, this is not the time to play games such as abusing the court system through delays or making unrealistic demands on matters such as division of marital assets and child custody arrangements. This can delay court proceedings, jacking up the cost, while pitting your children against you.
- Manipulating your children against your estranged spouse. Why inflict pain on your children by thrusting them into the middle of your disagreements with your spouse? This can really upset the children psychologically. Their feelings of distrust may never go away. Such an action may even cost you your relationship with your children and work against you in custody and visitation matters.
- Attempting to hide assets. Untruthfulness is never a good thing when dealing with a judge in his or her court. In some divorces, the animosity is so thick that a person does his or her best to hide marital assets. This is fraud, and you could find yourself in a whole lot of legal trouble attempting to prevent your spouse from obtaining her rightful marital assets.
- Failing to retain an attorney. An attorney serves as your ally, ready to guide you and provide insight into the divorce proceeding. It is not a good idea to subscribe to a do-it-yourself approach when it comes to divorce.
Looking back, you understand that you made certain mistakes in your marriage. Now, that you are going through divorce, you need to avoid making additional mistakes – ones that are preventable. In time, your life will get back on track.