How to help your child adjust after divorce

The decision to get divorced is hard, especially when there are kids in the picture. As adults, we know that sometimes divorce is necessary. However, kids can have a hard time understanding and accepting it. You don’t want your kids to suffer from your divorce, and to prevent that, there are some steps you can take.

Don’t make drastic changes

A divorce implies a change in your child’s life. However, not everything has to change overnight. If you make drastic changes, it will be difficult for your child to adjust to the new normal, and they might get the idea that the divorce was for the worst. That’s why you have to make smooth transitions and gradually introduce the new routine. It’s also essential that you keep the family traditions and the same expectations you had of them before the divorce.

Encourage them to talk about their feelings

Your child may be confused and sad about your divorce. These feelings are expected, and you must acknowledge them. Try to make them talk about the divorce and let them know that what they are feeling is completely normal. You may also consider sending them to therapy, as an experienced therapist could help them work on their negative emotions.

Stay involved in their life

Both you and your ex must stay involved in your kid’s life so that they don’t feel either parent has abandoned them. This applies especially to the parent that doesn’t live with them. You must prove to your child that both of you are still there for them no matter what. Provide them with emotional support, attend all their important events, help them whenever they have a problem and try to be always available for them.

Try to understand them

After a divorce, children can act up and throw tantrums because they feel sad and confused about the divorce. This is normal, and you mustn’t be so hard on them. Take any opportunity to talk to them about their behavior and explain that the divorce wasn’t their fault, as sometimes kids can feel guilty about that.

Respect your ex

Children love both of their parents, and if one of them talks badly about the other, the kids could conclude that they must show loyalty to only one of them. Because of this, you mustn’t undermine your ex’s authority or say anything insulting about them when your kids are around. If you don’t respect your ex, your kids will think that they need to take sides when they do not.

Adjusting to their new life

Divorce is hard on all the members of your family. Still, you can reduce the suffering and frustration that comes with it by showing unconditional support towards your children. Separating from your spouse was necessary, and if you do it the right way, your kids will eventually understand it, too.